she cat

I feel like the walls are coming down on me but I’m too bored to go for a walk. so since I don’t have the luxury of a porch or a balcony, I compromise with an open window facing some flowerbeds, a building, another building, some more buildings, oh! and there, there, up, a little piece of night sky. standing with a glass of wine and one million thoughts bursting in my mind. and here she comes. it’s the third time this month. she comes and stands right under my window meowing ballsy.

- what? what is it?

- meow!

- what do you want?

- meow!!!

- ok! ok! wait… here you are.

she eats.

- meowww!!!

- oh! so you like it. here’s some more.

 after she eats the slice of turkey, she licks her paws and cleans her face. she then lies down.

- ok, now you are happy!

- meooow.

she lies there looking at me, watching around, then looking back at me. that look in her eyes… hmmm… yes… yes! I’m pretty sure now. I know her! and she knows me. the smell of the grass. the hot summer breeze. the sun beams passing through the tree leaves. yes! now I remember! I met her last July in Cherry Tree Wood! I was there wondering – waiting for an illusion that never came. she happened to passing by and sat for a while keeping me company. she was a cat again back then.

- so! how are you? it’s been a while ah.

she meows as I talk to her. and I have lots to tell. about that storm inside my head. people, faces, eyes, mouths talking, me listening, me talking… no, rather imaging what I should have said. the prison. the sun. G. laughing with our stupid jokes. me laughing. oh God I miss her now that she’s far. me walking, trying to become, trying to be. K., anger, sadness. no hope. T., the lines of his face, his eyes, his smile, my heart beating. pain. fear. hope? my mother’s voice, my father’s look. the past. mistakes. blessing. me, same mistakes again, me, wavering. life… life… LIFE!

- what will the future bring? eh? eh cat?

- meow…

the walls the walls are coming down

the here and now is coming round

it will some day let you down

the ships the ships are coming in

the great ideas are wearing thin

there is nothing left to do

Fanfarlo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsXhQfIZD2c

http://www.fanfarlo.com/home

http://www.myspace.com/fanfarlo

like stepping on an urchin...

the ace in your arms from baggage and in your feet from climbing up and down the rocks that lead you to the beach. hours and hours of swimming in the sea, walking through pathways full of beautiful surprises, climbing dozens of steps up and up the hill to enjoy the altering sunset light covering the earth, the water, your skin…

it’s that lovely exhaustion you feel after vacations. vacations planned the last moment as an anti - depressing drug… what a nice floating.

sometimes it’s so hard to keep the promises you made to yourself.
sometimes the temptation is so strong and the guilt is so painful… but the pleasure you get from feeling alive makes you realize it was worth it after all.

free hugs...

I was at the city center a couple of weeks ago and that’s what happened... I was walking up the metro station stairs and just right before the exit a man was lying on the floor. a homeless who seemed to be in a coma. a security man was standing next to him talking on his walkie talkie radio, asking for aid. and there, just a few steps away… free hugs! yeeeah! you know, the free hug campaign. half a dozen young boys and girls, holding placards, smiling and offering free hugs to strangers who happened to pass by at the time. lots of people stopped and enjoyed a ‘spontaneous’ moment of ‘sincere’ affection. The hugs are meant to be random acts of kindness - selfless acts performed just to make others feel better. international free hugs day is celebrated on the first Saturday of July. ah! that’s why…

and there, me standing, watching and thinking… damn, there is something wrong with that picture!

ofcourse

a. none of those young people or anyone passing by, was either responsible for the situation the man was, or obliged to do anything. he made his choice in life. and if he was lucky enough to escape death this time no one could help him next time unless he decides to help himself.

or

b. we were all responsible for his shitty life. our choices in some point of our lives could have pushed him, or anyone in his place, in the dark or prevent drag him out in the light. and we were all obliged as human beings, citizens of a civilized society, to take care of him.

choose whatever suits you best. for me the truth lies somewhere in between. bottom line… the one who really needed a hug, an act of kindness to make him feel better, didn’t get it at the time. I only wish he got it eventually.

into the madhouse again…

http://www.kyada.gr/

http://www.ddy.gr/LinkClick.aspx?link=Docs%2Fodigos_ipiresion_koinonikis_ypostiriksis.PDF

http://www.freehugscampaign.org/

full moon

b&w 2

since my last post,

I stepped into a madhouse and inhaled chemicals for the first time in my life. I had my coffee near a murder scene enjoying the sunshine and the lack of guilt. I killed a living creature… I am full of guilt for that. I was publicly humiliated. I had a crush… absolute disaster. I spent time thinking in retrospect and counting my mistakes and flaws one by one. I watched one of the funniest ads ever. I traveled into deep blue eyes whishing for a change I am probably not ready to face. I… , I…, blah blah blah.

oh! I sooo much want to watch a horror movie with good company. company that you can scream with during the frightening scenes and laugh after that, and cover your eyes during the most suspenseful ones, and… blah blah blah again.

well,

here are some more black and white prints of mine. my muse A. of course, some very nice guys I met playing chess by the sea, an abandoned shelter by the sea too and a singer in a rock – metal gig I went.

today begins my class’s 1st photo exhibition. 8 months pasted since I’ve started. 8 very interesting months thanks to all my fellow students and my teacher. photos from the event coming up soon… : )

Salamina

about an hour away from the Athens’ madness and just 15´ from Perama port, I was eating fish and clams, drinking wine, chatting with friends and enjoying the sea view. Salamina. glimpses of the past… children swimming and playing at the sea shore all day long, pilling the sand and catching crabs, counting how many dives on the row can each one do and checking whose skin is more suntanned and pruned. exploring the mysteries of the nearby beach, climbing on the rocks and scratching their knees, digging and picking seashells… facing the seawater trying to understand how this scarred, timorous, weak, hopeless, shallow, stupid, abhorrent person reflects in your place… whaaat?! where did that come from?! the heck with that! I don’t have time.

love too ...

shut up !!!

b&w 1

some of my first black and white prints!

I took the photos, I developed the film, I printed them by myself and although it’s not a high quality work, I am so proud of it! many thanks to my photography teacher George Panos for being so patient with a student suffering from Alzheimer like me. to the beautiful people that posed for being who they are, J., A., D., V. and of course to my diva, my cat T.

T. such a difficult model.
when she sees me she streches and approaches me and follows me everywhere and body-rubs and kneads and purrs and demands to be petted. how can I refuse to my beauty?! after some time we spent loving each other, her caresses are full of bites and scratches… just the way I like it…, I have to start ignoring her so as to stay still and allow me to have her picture taken. taking that furry, wicked cat in my arms is one of the best feelings.

T. such a wonderful creature!

intercultural week 2010

the 2010 Intercultural Week part of the Thematic Workshop Week took place between January 18 and January 24 2010. was prepared under the auspices of the University of Athens and the Faculty of Early Childhood Education and was coordinated by Alexandra Androusou. professors, undergraduate students, Ma students, PhD students, teachers, kindergarten teachers. people listening, talking. watching, thinking. sharing their knowledge, thoughts, opinions and worries. a one week course, that reminded me of a playfield, which made us confront ourselves and overthink our beliefs, stereotypes, prejudices, biases, and anxieties for the foreigner, the immigrant… the Other.

such a luck to be a part of that team!

best moment of that week was when I was walking arm in arm with a friend in the city centre and under ironic black humour influence I made a racist comment about Albanians without being worried that I will be considered a ‘golden girl who loves dawns’... ha ha : ) we both laughed out loud. he is from Tirana.

thematiki.pblogs.gr/
www.marasleio.com/zografou.htm

www.132grava.net/
www.kleidiakaiantikleidia.net/

www.ecd.uoa.gr/prosopikes_selides/androusou/androusou.htm