23 October 2010

I don't give a shit

please don’t get me wrong. I am not angry or jealous or sad or disappointed or mistreated or neglected…
I just don’t give a shit! at least until the break of dawn. which is in a couple of hours…


18 October 2010

open your eyes















“open your eyes! look around you. life is full of shit. the only things that matter is surviving and having a good time. and the only things you can do is taking advantage of anything and anyone and enjoy whatever!”

our world is full of bad people doing bad things.
sometimes we have the means to fight against them. sometimes our means are very limited. either way the feeling of justice arms us with confidence for our cause and power to try, at least, and fix whatever can be fixed.
but what about good people doing bad things?
what if you know that a person’s way of perceiving life is twisted? what if you understand that his morality is a field with loose boundaries? what if you know that corruption is in his everyday life?
and what if you look in his eyes and besides all these you see no evil? you see stupidity. tones of it, yes. but no evil. you see a child looking back at you. an oblivious one, yes, but still a child. who needs the only thing that every person needs. to be loved. how can you not love him?!
and what is your moral duty as a human? to drag him out of the marsh? yes! to lead him in the path of reality and virtue? yes yes!! to save him? yes yes YES!!! and how???

shiiit! how can I? who am I? I myself am full of shit! I am no better! I am not even sure about my moral virtues. I do not have the strength! I don’t want to put myself through this. I have my own problems to deal with! fuck him! imbecility is not an excuse. why should I care after all, he is nothing to me! shit! shit! shiiit!
I am not good enough… not good enough…

please God give me strength and show me the right way. cause if I want to name myself a human, I HAVE to do something… anything…

if I am even a little worth to him, is leaving him an option? is depriving him of my presence an option? maybe this will make him gain consciousness. or is it just the easy way for me not to deal with the problem? just turn my back hoping things will get better… and what does that make me..? a wise one or a coward..?

“open your eyes! look around you! life is precious! YOUR life is precious! don’t waste it! the only thing that matters is love. and the only thing you can do is to love your fellow men and yourself cause that is the only way life is worth living.”